All emotions are important.
The good the bad and the ugly.
Whether it’s joy and excitement or anger and frustration. All are important to feel and acknowledge.
I have written just last week about how me and many others are consistently being let down by the mental health system in this country but I have a much more positive post today. Mental health help and support in Buckinghamshire.
Yes I am really writing about this. The mental health service in this country is a mess!
I want to stress before you start reading this post that these are MY the views and MY experiences.
For those of you that are lucky enough to not have experienced the mess that is our mental health system you might think that we are all exaggerating about how bad it is or simply that we are wrong and I only think it’s bad because we are ill?!
But can so many people be wrong? I don’t think so.
Borderline personality disorder is a serious mental condition. I have written various posts about it but this particular post focuses on having borderline personality disorder and being a mum.
I’m not going to deny that some days are a huge struggle. Mood swings, exhaustion, anxiety and so much more but being a mum is the most amazing thing I have ever done. I am getting better and my little boy has been the driving force behind my recovery.
So, borderline personality and being a mum, a few things that I’d like you to know:
I have never been someone who enjoys exercise. Going to the gym for an hour getting sweaty in front of a bunch of people who all seem to be doing much better than you are really isn’t my thing!
Even exercise classes I can’t get into. I’m extremely put off if I am the only beginner. Stuck in the back corner only half following the routine as I don’t have the stamina to continue. Silently praying they don’t change direction to notice how crap I am doing!
This is a letter to you my son. A letter about my mental health and our relationship.
I have written down many things for you over the years, poems, notes, updates on your life but never a letter. I am writing to you today with a feeling of love and gratitude. Love is a term that gets thrown around a lot but my understanding of love is true and pure and simply amazing. I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. I can still see, smell and feel that moment you were put on my chest for the very first time.That gorgeous first moment. Pure perfection.
My love for you has only grown with every moment that has passed, every milestone you’ve hit, every expression, word and cheeky comment. Watching you grow into the most beautiful, caring, kind and loving little boy that makes me burst with pride!
Not only have I been teaching you lessons everyday but I can honestly say you have been teaching me a few.
Living with any mental illness is tough. Really tough.
You try you hardest to hide it in most cases through fear of being judged but then when you’re brave enough to tell people you are faced with blank faces and unhelpful advice or comments. Even the most understanding of friends distance themselves or simply disappear. I am diagnosed with a few mental health issues so I might have more struggles than most but that doesn’t mean others aren’t struggling or being misunderstood every day. These are just a few of the things that I wish people knew about my diagnosis.
7 Signs when your mental health takes a turn.
After a 4 week break from my blogging, I am back.
I took a break for a few reasons, mainly because my mental health took a turn for the worst and I was generally feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with with everything! Being a good mum, a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend, blogger and trying to arrange my charity event! I desperately wanted to stay on top of all of these things. Why can’t I? Everyone else seems to be doing it all fine. No one else struggles as much as me. What is wrong with me?