I’ve not written a proper post on my pregnancy for a little while now. I’ve been pretty busy with Christmas, H and his schooling and generally being pregnant. But as the title suggests – “Prenatal depression and mood swings” There has been a lot going on internally.
When you have a mental health problem, whether it be a personality disorder, depression or an eating disorder it’s all about you. Everything is all about you. And that is totally fine. As it should be. You concentrating on your recovery. However, something that – terribly – only occurred to me in the last year was how my husband might really be feeling.
Surviving Christmas with mental health problems
Christmas is almost here! The shops are full to bursting of people buying gifts, food and drink. Everyone seems to be sharing their beautiful Christmas trees all over social media, the Christmas songs are now all that can be heard on the radio or in the shops. So this must mean we all become completely happy and full of joy!
In an ideal world yes but this is not always the case.
A letter to my younger self
This is a letter to you from a place of experience.
I am writing to tell you all the things I wish you knew and how all the things I wish you didn’t have to go through will make you a better and stronger person. You don’t deserve to live through such pain. No child or teenager does but I promise things do get better.
Firstly please understand that these terribly lonely times that you are living through will pass. I promise you they will. You are not destined to be lonely forever. You will feel love, acceptance, support and kindness. You will be treated as an equal and as the important person that you are. It will take some time I’m afraid to say but it WILL come. Please have faith and stay strong.
You are different. Yes I know you feel like an outcast, a freak and even a weirdo at times but I can tell you that those differences are what make you so amazing! It’s a gift to do things others can’t. You have great talents, some of which haven’t shone through yet – but trust me they will.
All of your creativity and kindness for people and animals is a beautiful gift that you will share with the world soon. You will be admired for your strength so please keep doing what you are doing.
I think that everyone at some point in their lives will have felt anxious. It’s a natural feeling to have but to suffer with anxiety is quite different. Anxiety effects people in different ways so I am going to be talking about my anxiety and things that help me.
My Baby Shower – 19/11/17
On Sunday I was blessed to have been thrown a beautiful baby shower by one of my best friends Kat from KatrinaBruni.com.
Being a mum and pregnant with anorexia must read like a very odd title to many but it’s my life right now.
I have mentioned just recently on social media how I am struggling with my changing body in this pregnancy and I was overwhelmed by the lovely, kind responses I had from people. I was so grateful for these and it did make me smile and feel loved . It did not, however change how I feel about my body. Now that is not a criticism to all the lovely people who commented this is just a subject I feel I need to talk about and share.
I know it is boring to hear but it’s true – yes, I am still in recovery.
I still struggle a lot and have bad days and just recently I have struggled more than I have done for some time. I had more than the odd bad day and I felt that numbness and black cloud fully descended onto me.
Self care is something that is everywhere at the moment, and rightly so! I am always talking or writing about it. I read regular posts and articles about it The Blurt Foundation are an excellent example of self care advocates. I am always checking in with friends that they are making time for it in their lives and I do try to incorporate into mine too. Self care ideas for different stages of recovery is also important as what one person can manage another person may find extremely difficult at that time.
So why? Whats the big deal all of a sudden?
Quite a controversial title to this post but so true. Not every woman enjoys being pregnant – and that’s OK!
This may seem like it’s going to be a post full of ranting and moaning but it’s not. It’s about me being honest and open about how me and some other pregnant woman out there honestly feel about their pregnancy experience.