A letter to my younger self
This is a letter to you from a place of experience.
I am writing to tell you all the things I wish you knew and how all the things I wish you didn’t have to go through will make you a better and stronger person. You don’t deserve to live through such pain. No child or teenager does but I promise things do get better.
Firstly please understand that these terribly lonely times that you are living through will pass. I promise you they will. You are not destined to be lonely forever. You will feel love, acceptance, support and kindness. You will be treated as an equal and as the important person that you are. It will take some time I’m afraid to say but it WILL come. Please have faith and stay strong.
You are different. Yes I know you feel like an outcast, a freak and even a weirdo at times but I can tell you that those differences are what make you so amazing! It’s a gift to do things others can’t. You have great talents, some of which haven’t shone through yet – but trust me they will.
All of your creativity and kindness for people and animals is a beautiful gift that you will share with the world soon. You will be admired for your strength so please keep doing what you are doing.
Please I beg you stop harming yourself. You are a beautiful young girl and no amount of starving yourself or cutting your skin is going to make you feel any better. I’m talking from experience. These coping strategies you have found are only going to get worse and eventually spiral out of control. Try to focus on your writing or your art work when these painful times come. These lonely feelings and feelings of despair will come back again and again but please try to focus on staying healthy and alive.
Those bullies. Well, what can I say about them? Don’t believe a word that comes out of their mouths! I know it’s so hard, believe me I know, but honestly they are the weak ones. They are the ones with the problem not you. I know that’s almost impossible to believe but they pick on you because they are threatened. They are going to continue to try and break you for some years to come but know this – YOU WILL WIN! You will come out on top. You are the one with a great life. You have a husband and a son and a baby on the way. You have a roof over your head and do a job you adore. Many of these bullies, I can tell you now, have very little!
It is not going to be easy but please try to keep smiling. Please don’t spend all those nights crying. Reach out to a Dr or counsellor if you can.
Life really can be amazing and for you right now it might not seem like it but I promise you it is! I just can’t wait for you to see what you achieve and just how incredible things do get for you.
Right now you are going through things that you really shouldn’t have to, with no one to talk to. I know that’s not fair but please trust me, you have the courage to get through those these dark times and you have strength that you have no idea about.
Life can be amazing – and it will be soon.
Stay strong beautiful girl.
Lots of love