After a 4 week break from my blogging, I am back.
I took a break for a few reasons, mainly because my mental health took a turn for the worst and I was generally feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with with everything! Being a good mum, a good wife, a good daughter, a good friend, blogger and trying to arrange my charity event! I desperately wanted to stay on top of all of these things. Why can’t I? Everyone else seems to be doing it all fine. No one else struggles as much as me. What is wrong with me?
Well, having had my break and taking a step back I have enjoyed time with family and close friends and I have realised I am not alone! Many people feel the same way, mental health issues or not. Because I have the mental health issues I might suffer a little more but I know deep down that these feeling will pass. I’ve written before about how I suffer with my moods going up and down and living life on a roller coaster, I am hoping these will balance out eventually but until then I need to remind myself that taking a break isn’t failing!
I thought it might be a good time to talk about the signs I get when my mental health takes a turn. When those down or low feelings start creeping in. This is by no means an exhausted list but some of things I tend to notice most.
7 Signs when my mental health is taking a turn;
- I stop staying on top of my personal hygiene/beauty routines. I find this is one of the first things that slip when my mental health is suffering. I stop washing my hair regularly. I stop using my facial products and make up and even brushing my teeth becomes a chore.
- The house is a mess! I will literally have no motivation to do anything. I will sit and stare at the piles of toys all over the floor, the dishes in the sink. The bags and coats I haven’t hung up. I know it needs to be moved and tided but I just can’t summon the energy to do it.
- Getting behind on the housework. Similar to the above but when my mental health takes a dive the housework definitely suffers. There are no clothes to wear as the washing basket is overflowing. Bins need to be emptied and ironing is a distant memory.
- Throwing away food. This is another big one for me. I always plan my meals for the week and cook all my meals from scratch, however, when depression sets in I find this near impossible. I end up throwing away all the fresh food I had bought and stick to something frozen I can stick in the microwave or oven and then often don’t eat myself.
- Isolating myself. This is probably the most noticeable sign to those close to me. I find it difficult to reply to texts and messages and will never answer my phone. I keep my curtains and blinds closed and will not answer my front door. Plans will be cancelled and I make excuses to not attend things even though I might have been really excited about it a few days ago, I will not be able to summon the mental strength to go.
- Bad memory and forgetfulness. When mental health begins to take a turn for the worst then my memory goes out of the window. I get very forgetful and will stop halfway through sentences not remembering what I am saying. I end up repeating myself a lot and talk slower.
- Out of control spending. This is something that has got much better. I am working hard on changing this behaviour but ultimately it still crops up. I feel so low and desperate for happiness and that lovely positive feeling that I buy things that I feel will give me that. I but beauty products and cosmetics believing that they will make me prettier so in effect making me happier! It isn’t just me I buy for either, my son will often get spoilt rotten with toys, games and clothes.
These are the 7 signs that I find always appear when my mental health takes a turn. I have recognised these things now and I know this is the first step in being able to stop them occurring.
I am currently working on not setting myself such big goals. Cutting myself some slack and the big one – stop comparing myself to others! It is hard for me as I am naturally a perfectionist with very low self esteem but I am a fighter and I am not giving up yet!
Lots of love to you all,